Here's the thing about Raccoons, I hate them, I mean I dislike them immensely. Except that the word raccoon is actually sort of cute and sometimes there are illustrations of raccoons that are really cute like this one for example to the right. But don't let that fool you, they aren't, they are just dumb, and well, dumb. Which leads me to my story. I was driving my teen-wonders (I teach seminary at the moment)home from a gathering where a bunch of people were attempting to tell them that the Lord's university was in fact located right here in the United States of America some where in the Rocky Mountain Region, and that they should all go there. Whether or not they succeeded in this task I am unsure. But Pants is still Michigan bound she just doesn't know which colors she will choose yet, or which will choose her rather. But I digress. So we're driving along and I'm educating them on U2 and Tom Petty both of whom they have sadly never heard of. Honestly? And out of no where comes this fat, dumb, lazy raccoon right into the middle of the road. Now I don't know about you but my mother taught me that under no circumstances are you to ever swerve to miss an animal. So, obedient daughter that I am, I gripped the steering wheel and cringed as we felt the bump and heard the crunch. Gross. Not only did it scare the bejeebees out of me and the teen-wonders, I now had raccoon guts all over my back wheel. I'm sorry if you are disturbed by my lack of empathy for the raccoon, but I had my lights on, I was obviously coming and it walked right out in front of me, I mean, thats just asking for it. So i guess this is more of a confession. I ran into a raccoon and I don't feel bad about it. I thought about feeling bad about it, but on second thought, decided that I just didn't really. See, for every raccoon that blatantly walks out infront of a moving vehicle and chooses it's own death, there is another one breaking into a garbage can and making a mess on your drive way. Just think of it that way and you will feel better next time you hit the accelerator and keep on truckin, I promise.
2 comments:
I probably would have cried. There I found another difference between us!! This one made me smile too I want to live close to you again. I don't think we took advantage of it when we did. Will we ever again??? That's a sad thought. What if we don't?!?! I'm sad now.
Emmy, you don't have to be sad about hitting a racoon. They are our friends, but I think you make a good point about the mess in the driveway. I remember one scout excusion to the finger lakes that we threw a lot, I mean a lot, of LARGE rocks at racoons who were trying to invade the camp. I don't think I felt bad about that. We also stole a kid's cloths while he was in the shower and took a picture of him in his underwear when he came out to get them on that trip. That was just funny.
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